Genetic Tinkerer Gifts

New, Improved Cat

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"Really Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!"

'Hi dear - how was your day at the genlab?'

'Send a press release saying how exaggerated claims of Gm 'superats' are!'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

'Dr. Bolinder? I've got good news and bad news about our basketball experiment...'

'They were in the lab fooling around, and suddenly Greg found himself in possession of some tiger genes.'

GM Crop Lark

chihuahua cloning

'Beefalo' - Breeding cattle and buffalo.

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

'We're on a roll here. The world's first artificial Frenchman!'

"Now that we have flounder genes, I'd like to go swimming."

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

'Oh, wow, you found my science project and it works!'

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

'You don't stand a chance. I'm loaded with cheetah genes.'

Professor...what are you doing?

'So I left a little bit out of the genetic code when I cloned you. You're only missing a nose. What's the big deal?'

'Cloning Stuff-ups: A Snicken.'

"Well, I'm bummed about the gene experiment, too."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."