Gene Tinker Gifts

"No, I didn't plant a magic bean. I genetically manipulated the seed."

GM Plant Research: 'Well you've proved you can grow Chantrelles just about anywhere!'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Thinking Gears

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

The Not-So Smart Meter

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'