Techie Tinkerer Gifts

"Yes, you were supposed to put your address on the envelope."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Mac OS 20

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

The Not-So Smart Meter

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

Bicycle sat nav.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'