Tactical Tinkerer Gifts

"After years in theoretical physics, I can't get enough equipment to put my hands on."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

The Not-So Smart Meter

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

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