Tactic Tinkerer Gifts

For the War Inventions Board: The Shell-diverter for returning the enemy's fire.

'... I'll take the handoff to the tailback, then give the ball to my stunt double here, and he will dive head-first into the end zone.'

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Rocking horse

The Hobby Store

Drool Marks

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Early cyborg.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Gadget geek.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Modern kite for wind energy.

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Bicycle sat nav.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Congratulations on your retirement!