Theory Tinkerer Gifts

"I already wrote the paper. That's why it's so hard to get the results."

'E=ma2. E=mb2...'

But is it practical? In theory, yes.

Fomula: M + C2 = E, 'Keep working at it, Albert'( Einstein)

'Yup, it's broke alright... probably one of your theoretical physicists, or maybe one of them writers from Quantum Leap.'

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

You've modified your unified theory of picking up chicks? The first big change in 10 years. I had to account for a key change in how people relate. They have incredibly short attention spans. Under my old theory, you used to have 45 seconds to get a chick's attention. Now you have less than 20. You lost me two sentences ago. I'm tweeting. The Love Doctor rests his case.

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

Dr. Fassbinder vanishes into thin air after failing to prove his existence.

'If you just keep harping on the *#@!! results, you'll never be able to see what a perfectly sound economic theory it was.'

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...Maybe Adam & Eve did exist! They could've been time travelers who wanted to escape their overpopulated world, got stuck here and ironically started the human race!'

'Psst...e=mc?.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Thinking Gears

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Rocking horse

Drool Marks

The Hobby Store

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Gadget geek.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'