Theory Tinkerers Gifts

To an observer approaching the speed of light, Einstein and his surroundings appear to be tall and thin.

John von Neumann, after completing his book. 'Theory of Self-Replicating Automata'.

'...His flow-thru hull theory sounds like it's work...But then somethin' unfahseen always gets in the way...'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Thinking Gears

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

The Not-So Smart Meter

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Gadget geek.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."