Knowledge Tinkerer Gifts

'You know too much,'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Young Frankenstein"

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

Thinking Gears

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Gadget geek.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

Fixing the Computer.

'3-D TV Kit'