Telescope Tinkerer Gifts

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

"Another Starbucks on Venus."

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

'There are easier ways to get a look at community care.'

'Watch this space.'

"I'll bet GALILEO never had to clean off flyspecks!"

"The last time I did that he thought he'd discovered a new planet."

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

'Stop staring at my wife.'

'Admit it.. You only invented that thing to ogle at her in number 63!'

"I've made a discovery about our universe! It turns out you aren't the center of it Tim."

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

The moment that Professor Klutz realised he'd forgottedn to take the lends cap off the James Webb telescope prior to departure...

Solar Range.

"What is the speed of dark?"

A man with a telescope peering out from his dome-like head.

'BOO!' 'AAARGH!'

Venice 1609: Someone plays a practical joke on Galileo. . .

"New researches use it in daylight hours only."

'Those aren't sunspots, dummy - Your glasses are dirty again!'

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

"Yes, astronomy is fascinating, but you have to strike the right balance between hunting at night and stargazing, son..."

New Images from Hubble

"They're on your forehead."

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

'It's all right, Strudelbart, it's all right — the kids next door just got a trampoline, that's all.'

Alien surrendering to huge telescope because it looks like a gun

'My God we being invaded!'

"I never knew the moon had so many craters..."

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

'Can we sue for disability payments due to extraterrestrial harassment?'

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."