Telepresence Techie Gifts

"Hey Rayna, want some candy?"

In the Guru District

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Ascent of Machine.

"Invest in technology."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Gadget geek.

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

All the apps hidden within a phone

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

I've always been slower than computers...

"Fact amnesty"

S.S.dot.com

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."