Telepresence Explorer Gifts

"So how long are you doing this reality show? And where are they filming?"

"So you're mad at me...and you're happy to see me. This is one funky relationship."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Your Future Home.

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"It's all about you, isn't it?"

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'She just won't speak to me!'

"It's scary how empty I feel inside. It's Easter, but I'm feeling like Hollow-een"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

"Are you there now, Linda? Are you in that happy, safe place that brings you peace and assurance, and deep contentment?"

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

Paranoia Clinic