Teleconference Professional Gifts

"Pretending to be frozen to avoid difficult questions only works on Zoom, Kyle."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

Data From a Truck

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'It's engaged.'

Economic Conference.

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

"I've been working remote so long I didn't know my company has been bought and sold three times."

"It's James Earl Jones from Verizon again—he wants to know if we still respect him as an actor."

Telework Pants

"Listen, Phil....LOVE the hi-def video conferencing, but next time can you trim your nose hairs?"

Alexander Graham Bell sends the first text/sext message to Watson that says 'Mr. Waston, Come here. STOP. I want to see you. STOP. What are you wearing? STOP'

"And from now on these staff meetings will be conducted online. You people are a breeding ground for germs."

Remorse code

Laws and mobile technology

"Are you getting a signal up there?"

"Right, 1:02 minutes to the corporate conference meeting."

'I'd like to give a particularly warm welcome to those of you who are joining us from the southern hemisphere.'

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

"So - we meet at last."

"Could you continue to work from home? We're enjoying not having you in the office."

"This office is state of the art. Human error has been replaced by computer glitches."

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

Man on mobile phone has a bird sitting on the antenae.

'It's for you.'

"Sorry but I need to take this call. Would you mind holding on the other line?"

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones, and BlackBerries, more and more executives are working from home.'