Teleconference Organizer Gifts

'I'd like to give a particularly warm welcome to those of you who are joining us from the southern hemisphere.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Conference Pears

'And in conclusion.'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'And in conclusion...'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

The facilitator from hell.

Energy Saving Conference.

"NAY!!"