Telemedicine Pioneer Gifts

"I'm working remotely from home...I have a gallbladder, 2 appendectomies, a colon resection and playgroup at 3."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"Yes, of course you can have a second opinion — ask Siri."

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"The doctor will see you now. Look up at the surveillance camera and tell her what hurts."

"I don't mind him working from home, except for casual Fridays."

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

"I'm always pushing the envelope when it comes to patient care. I've moved his large intestine so it looks like a big smiley face."

"I really want to thank you for these great telepsychiatry sessions, doctor. The format lends itself to easing my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy around others."

Annual meeting of the American Telemedical Association.

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

Going to a split screen doesn't count as a second opinion, doctor.

"Would you prefer the artificial heart made by Venn-Trexx, or the generic, which costs a lot less?"

I can't handle too much change so I'm reading a four-year-old magazine while waiting for my telemedicine appointment.

'I'm getting lonely – my patients are getting their prescriptions online instead of visiting me.'

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"

'I'm a stay-at-home teleradiologist.'

'I purchased this for my daughter. After reading about the effect of the healthcare law on the practice of medicine, I want to return it.'

'Guinea pig - without whose help...'

Workign at home is nice... this way, I don't have to worry about my boss harassing me...

"Since this whole COVID thing I've had to adjust my practice."

"That's the fifth customer this morning - video calling the doctor's surgery because of Covid restrictions."

'Professor Benson is developing a fast and cost effective vasectomy treatment.'

"It's from Sven. He's pillaging from home today."

"We've seen a lot of this in 2020... It's called 'Zoom Face'."

"Man, this telemedicine thing is great -- I don't even have to put my pants on!"

'Doctor, would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'

"I'm in my doctor's telemedical waiting room!"

'OK, now cough...'.

'This will mean a great deal to my career, Mr. Ferguson -- yours will be the first case reported outside Zimbabwe!'

"It's the new stitchless method."