Telemedicine Pioneer Pillows

"I'm working remotely from home...I have a gallbladder, 2 appendectomies, a colon resection and playgroup at 3."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"Yes, of course you can have a second opinion — ask Siri."

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"The doctor will see you now. Look up at the surveillance camera and tell her what hurts."

"I don't mind him working from home, except for casual Fridays."

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

"I really want to thank you for these great telepsychiatry sessions, doctor. The format lends itself to easing my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy around others."

Annual meeting of the American Telemedical Association.

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

"Would you prefer the artificial heart made by Venn-Trexx, or the generic, which costs a lot less?"

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"

'I'm getting lonely – my patients are getting their prescriptions online instead of visiting me.'

'I'm a stay-at-home teleradiologist.'

'I purchased this for my daughter. After reading about the effect of the healthcare law on the practice of medicine, I want to return it.'

'Guinea pig - without whose help...'

Workign at home is nice... this way, I don't have to worry about my boss harassing me...

"That's the fifth customer this morning - video calling the doctor's surgery because of Covid restrictions."

"Since this whole COVID thing I've had to adjust my practice."

'Professor Benson is developing a fast and cost effective vasectomy treatment.'

"We've seen a lot of this in 2020... It's called 'Zoom Face'."

'Doctor, would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'

"I'm in my doctor's telemedical waiting room!"

'This will mean a great deal to my career, Mr. Ferguson -- yours will be the first case reported outside Zimbabwe!'

"Your online doctor is currently with another patient. Please go into the other room, put on some awful music and read an outdated magazine. He'll be with you in a few hours."

'OK, now cough...'.