Telegraphy Gifts

Remorse code

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Italica

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Sign Reform

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Who's the idiot who filed Phil under F?"

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Data From a Truck

HUAWEI 5G

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

The Graphic Designers EYE EXAM

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Camera not working."

Cold caller.

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."