Telephony Gifts

Wrong number.

"Don't answer - it's a cold caller."

'Operator... Operator... I've been cut off!'

'Thank you for holding. By the way, what were you holding.'

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

'If I give you some of my friends' cell phone numbers, will you leave me alone?'

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

'Welcome to the rat race.'

"You're Long Sighted."

Then: phone static. Now: email spam filters.

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"Dang, I hate that! Someone called me by mistake!"

"Long distance from America..."

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Nuts to you, too."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"My computer just texted me."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.