Telecommunications Gifts

'I gotta go - we're discussing my compulsive communicatoins disorder.'

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

"Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'How do you send text messages?'

"I'm starting to think humans don't even like winning free cruises."

'I'm sorry, he's not available. Can you call back when you're more important?'

'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to sell you that smart phone without first verifying your IQ.'

Caller ID - "Who am I?"

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

'I'm just opening the mail...you should see the size of my mobile phone bill!'

'Thank you for calling civil liberties - your call may be recorded...'

Customer service at British Telecom

"I'm not trying to sell you anything, sir. I'm doing market research, and all I ask is two or three hours of your time to answer a few thousand questions."

Caller I.Q.

'For acall centre in Bangalore press 1 - for one in Hyderbad press......'

"It's from my Telemedicine Man!"

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Bell invents the telephone.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Victorian couple in bed.

"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."

'It's one of those cold callers.'

'You'll never guess where I'm calling from!'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'Stop leaving messages for me you crazy woman! We had one date but I don't want to see you again!! Got it??!' 'He phoned...'

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

He's listened to 'Mull of Kintyre' eleven times and he's still holding.

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'

HUAWEI 5G

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

"If it's such a 'smart' phone why do I keep exceeding my minutes?"

'Your call may be monitored for national security.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."