Telecom Gifts

"I've received 600 robocalls today. For Christmas I'd like robocall, spam and junk mail blockers."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Data From a Truck

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

HUAWEI 5G

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

Networking

"Camera not working."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

Cold caller.

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'It's engaged.'

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'