Teleconference Tamer Gifts

'These teleconferences have become a lot more civil since I installed this 7 second delay.'

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"Who called this meeting again?"

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"The pandemic has pushed us to revolutionize how we connect."

The Vicious Rectangle

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

Telework Pants

"And from now on these staff meetings will be conducted online. You people are a breeding ground for germs."

"Right, 1:02 minutes to the corporate conference meeting."

"Whose idea was it to create a Zoom session for first graders?"

Canadian Zoom

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

'I'd like to give a particularly warm welcome to those of you who are joining us from the southern hemisphere.'

"So - we meet at last."

"Could you continue to work from home? We're enjoying not having you in the office."

How to dress for a Skype meeting when you work from home

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"Sorry, sir. I thought it was a zoom meeting."

"A meeting? You bet I would!"

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

"Why don't you just go ahead and email me and we'll schedule a call, O.K.?"

"Hold on, Ted. I'm going to put you on the speaker phone."

'I take it you're having the businessman's lunch.'

I'm comfort breaking my ass off here!

Woman bringing coffee cups to business people attending a video conference (via computer screens).

"Sorry, I thought this was a Skype meeting."

'Hey Greg, you gonna be at work today?' - 'No, man. Workin' from home. You?'

"After that last online meeting I had, everyone sent me nose hair tweezers. Just what are they trying to say?"