Teleconference Champ Gifts

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Couples' therapy

Teamwork

WHO checklist

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

Telework Pants

"I don't know about you guys, but I sure miss the dog park."

Being home based the highlights of Colin's day was ringing his office based colleagues to check on how their commute had been that morning.

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

"Could you continue to work from home? We're enjoying not having you in the office."

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

'To sum up, today's business world can be divided into 2 categories: companies that get it, and companies that don't!' 'Get what?' 'Make that 3 categories.'

"Am I at work... am I at home, does it matter anymore."

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

We're sorry, all lines are currently busy. Please continue holding for the next available recorded message.

'I'm going to restate what he just said - especially the part about my being a good listener.'

'I'm in the bog!'

'If only texting was an Olympic sport.'

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

"Good morning 'Best Friends Forever' breakfast club!"

'These teleconferences have become a lot more civil since I installed this 7 second delay.'

"He asked if we had someone on staff who knew sign language and when I said 'yes'....he fainted!"