Conference Call Champion Gifts

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

'I don't know who you are, but I just lost an important client.'

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Couples' therapy

Teamwork

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

WHO checklist

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

"I don't know about you guys, but I sure miss the dog park."

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

"I miss expense accounts."

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

"Am I at work... am I at home, does it matter anymore."

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"Hold on, Ted. I'm going to put you on the speaker phone."

'I'm going to restate what he just said - especially the part about my being a good listener.'

'I'm in the bog!'