Conference Call Veteran Gifts

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

Executive Asks Death To Wait

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"Maybe this isn't the right heartless monolithic corporation for you."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

Working from Home

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence."

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"Ok, everybody set for that Zoom call?"

"As a company, and as individuals, we are without irony. Will that bother you?"

"They say you are a great warrior."

"I miss expense accounts."

Working from home.

'Now that we've eaten your resume, Mr. Dellingham, we'll ask you to step outside until we've had a chance to digest it.'

'The good news is that you look good. The bad news is that you're not as good as you look.'

"Hold on, Ted. I'm going to put you on the speaker phone."

I wish I could experience a normal, social interaction...

"Must be another conference-call party."

Breakout Room

"Due to heavy call volume, your wait time will be six years."

"You said it would behoove me to ask questions - so what does 'behoove' mean?"

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."

At 100 years old, Ceil pretty much spoke her mind...