Conference Call Veteran Gifts

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

Executive Asks Death To Wait

"Maybe this isn't the right heartless monolithic corporation for you."

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

Working from Home

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence."

"They say you are a great warrior."

"As a company, and as individuals, we are without irony. Will that bother you?"

"Ok, everybody set for that Zoom call?"

"I miss expense accounts."

Working from home.

"A meeting? You bet I would!"

'Now that we've eaten your resume, Mr. Dellingham, we'll ask you to step outside until we've had a chance to digest it.'

'In dog years, I'm 49, but in internet chat room years, I'm only 21.'

'The good news is that you look good. The bad news is that you're not as good as you look.'

"Hold on, Ted. I'm going to put you on the speaker phone."

"Due to heavy call volume, your wait time will be six years."

"You said it would behoove me to ask questions - so what does 'behoove' mean?"

'Not another powerpoint sermon!'

"Must be another conference-call party."

Breakout Room

I wish I could experience a normal, social interaction...

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."