Video Conferencing Veteran Gifts

Even though we're having business meetings with Zoom now, things move along at a snail's pace just like before.

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"Indeed - you're Mr. Gurkenman! After all the 200m meetings I remembered you much smaller!"

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"Off to work, Hon. See you tonight."

"Hold my video conferencing calls, Gina."

Negative Interest Meeting

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

"Wow, Greg's background makes it look like he's in space!"

"Listen, Phil....LOVE the hi-def video conferencing, but next time can you trim your nose hairs?"

"And from now on these staff meetings will be conducted online. You people are a breeding ground for germs."

'I'd like to give a particularly warm welcome to those of you who are joining us from the southern hemisphere.'

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

". . . and a special welcome to Bob from Australia!"

"Ok, everybody set for that Zoom call?"

How to dress for a Skype meeting when you work from home

"Did you give me the finger?"

"Sorry, sir. I thought it was a zoom meeting."

MLB 2020

Working from home.

"Am I at work... am I at home, does it matter anymore."

"Oops, this meeting is for Data Cloud Services? I thought it was Dodo the Clown Services!"

'In dog years, I'm 49, but in internet chat room years, I'm only 21.'

Zoom Backdrop

"Anybody fancy getting drunk and photocopying our bottoms."

"I'm afraid you have Zoom fatigue."

Guess what pants I'm wearing on this Zoom call.