Conference Call Artist Gifts

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

Cold caller.

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

Working from Home

"Your marriage would greatly improve if you were both more open with your emojis."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"If anyone has a question do not hesitate to open your mouth wide up."

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

Virtual Magic Tricks

People, come on, connect the dots...NOT THOSE DOTS!

"I miss expense accounts."

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

"A meeting? You bet I would!"

Distracted by the Senator's mesmerizing speech, Willard inadvertently pushes the wrong button.

"Hi, my name's Mike. I'm calling from the Government to let you know your Social Security Number has been suspended..."

'And finally a man who needs no introduction... unless you want to know who he is.'

'Quality time, Gloria?'

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

A giveaway tan line...

"Hold on, Ted. I'm going to put you on the speaker phone."

"Maybe my argument will make more sense if I run it through some of these sick effects pedals."

"Must be another conference-call party."