Phone Artist Gifts

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Giraffe Selfie

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

Selfie World

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

It's more than a mike!

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

...the onion rings

Self checkout and 'selfie' check out at a store.

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

A cat draws a picture of a sleeping man

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

"We love your desserts...they're the most photogenic in town!"

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"Your marriage would greatly improve if you were both more open with your emojis."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

"Try to smile a bit louder."

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

'Quality time, Gloria?'

"Hi, my name's Mike. I'm calling from the Government to let you know your Social Security Number has been suspended..."

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

"He wants to know if I'm alone."