Conversation Artist Gifts

"Say, George, do you recall ever having a personality?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

"Have you ever known anyone famous?" "I have." "I've always been great friends with Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." "What? That's you." "Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they should know you." "Hey, you all over there! You know me!" "You don't carry things with your mouth."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Your marriage would greatly improve if you were both more open with your emojis."

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

"I would've started my novel by now, but I've been to busy suffering!"

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

'Quality time, Gloria?'

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

"Maybe my argument will make more sense if I run it through some of these sick effects pedals."

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

"Have you talked to Baldo about girls lately?"

'You must assert yourself more.'

'It helps him realize I'm being serious.'

'What is tact?' 'The unsaid part of what you think.'

Silencing women's opinions

"I've run out of topics, so you have to do the talking until the vaccine comes."

Echo Point - 'ello 'ello 'ello.

"Soul sucking? Sure. Dead end? Absolutely. But hey, it's a job!"

Lou's Barber Shop Discussions

'Andy, you can be honest with me. Do you think I'd make a good manager?' - 'Why couldn't she just ask me if I like her hairstyle.'

"This piece really makes you think doesn't it?"

"I'm sure you two will discover that you're both plagued by the same nonexistent problems."