Audio Artist Gifts

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

'Hello... is anybody there?'

"Try to smile a bit louder."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

New music conference

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'What luck! A sound technician.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

Music producers.

Subwoofer

George Martin

Man and Machine snoozing

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

"The subwoofers really help."

Birds with Headphones

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

It's more than a mike!

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

I love Marimba

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Elephant in Headphones

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

"Turn down the bass."