Audio Gifts

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

"The subwoofers really help."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

"Very funny. I suppose you got me some sight cancelling glasses as well?"

'Those tiny speakers in mobile phones that play music...Brilliant.'

"An echo is like a voice selfie."

"When I said I didn't want anything I obviously meant that I wanted a set of Wi-Fi, bluetooth headphones."

'Plug the connector into your laptop to download a multimedia presentation of the roars of the sea.'

Missing. Last seen with.

'We won't be able to hear your mobile with all this racket!'

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

You've reached the voicemail of the National Ventriloquists Association.

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

Ok, go back through and twist behind me. Then I think we're done. Your Earbuds While You Sleep.

"These tapes of nature are absolutely amazing. You really feel like you're in the forest."

Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Louis Armstrong

A Symphony of Penguins

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Can You Spot the Differences?

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

I could have danced all night!

Mardi Gras

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'