Sound Gifts

"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."

Things that go beep in the night.

'Cotton wool' behind glass 'In case of fire alarm break glass'

'The acoustics in here are fantastic!'

Laurel Canyon

The damage from wearing headphones.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Do you hear what I hear?

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

A Peek into the 2021 Noise Pollution L'Accord

"My papi believes in an ear for an ear."

"I'm doing a science experiment for a school project, sir: can you please stand here and quack?"

'I like the sound.'

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

Audiology!!

Duck don't ordinarily eat the green-backed tree beetle. However...

"The subwoofers really help."

Ernie has an electric guitar? Yes, and when he plays it, it's also chordless.

You're right! I can hear you whisper all the way over here!

That's funny, I always thought they were trumpeters. (Published originally on April 29, 2011.)

Echo Point. C'mon, let's go. You're never going to get the last bark in.

I've found it! It was in the bread box! You've found the lost cellphone! SMASH! CRASH BOP! SMASH! Today's feature is offered as a catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a cellphone and been forced to listen to its low-battery beep from some undiscovered place. SMASH. Final beep (Death).

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Louis Armstrong

A Symphony of Penguins

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Mardi Gras