Audio Production Gifts

'And then for this scene of the great coconut march, we'll just record a bunch of horses.'

I'm a voiceover artist.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

New music conference

'From albums to 8-tracks to cassettes to CD's...What a long, loud trip it's been!'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Little Red Riding Carpet

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

'What luck! A sound technician.'