Voice Artist Gifts

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'They come as a pair Madam. The other one's his voice coach'.

It's more than a mike!

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'Very funny!'

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Chorister's Loose Teeth

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

Joanna Lumley.

'Thanks for buying the ventriloquism instructional tapes. You are now listening to tape number one...'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

"I think I'd rather wait till Benedict Cumberbatch does the audiobook."

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

James Earl Jones

Pay attention Mom. You're making the wolf and three little pigs sound the same.

'You were up for the part, but we got ourselves a digitized actor who is just a little better looking, has a little better voice and does those action scenes a lot better.'

Making an Audio Book: Quiet Please No Barking!!!

Ernest Borgnine

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

Teacher complaning he can't understand pupil in his course on 'Voice projection and pronunciation'

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."