Conference Calls Gifts

"A meeting? You bet I would!"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Inclusive speech

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

The Card Flinger

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

"It's our new corporate strategy. I'd get on board if I were you, Watkins."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

"Quick, let's make the decision before everyone else shows up!"

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'