Conference Caller Gifts

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

Executive Asks Death To Wait

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'Pick a business card.'

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,