Wakeup Call Artist Gifts

A pair of monkeys prepare to clap cymbals together next to a sleeping leopard.

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'Very funny!'

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

It's more than a mike!

Joanna Lumley.

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Dang it."

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

Virtual Magic Tricks

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

'Ed's busy, but someone who speaks out of both sides of his mouth will be right with you.'

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

"Thank you, but I don't feel it's necessary for you to play 'Charge' when I invite people to the altar."

"I always knew I wanted to be a voice-over artist because, as a child, I was British."

"I've got this idea for a wake-up call."

'Oh, Ran-dee! Wakey-wakeys! You're doing a triple bypass on Mrs. Pacala at 8:30. Re-mem-ber? Out of bed, Mr. Lazy Bones!'

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"Hi, my name's Mike. I'm calling from the Government to let you know your Social Security Number has been suspended..."

Whack Your Alarm Clock

'I do great voice-overs.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'They come as a pair Madam. The other one's his voice coach'.

Rise and shine

"There's no need to keep calling to remind us, sir. You'll get your wake-up call at the time you specified. Understand? Now stop calling."

'I'm on the train.'