Telecom Executive Gifts

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

Prison Phones

Networking

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Data From a Truck

"We've been cancelled."

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

TV Situations vacant.

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

'Look, you can actually see Bill Gates' office from here.'

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

Money Flow increases as Tiger Woods returns to the game.

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'It's engaged.'

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"It was a lot easier to keep up with the Joneses before they replaced their entire workforce with robots."

Mark Zuckerberg

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

Michael Grade is right...ITV needs more real writers which is why we want you to commission 'celebrity novelists get me out of here'.