Telecom Manager Gifts

Customer service at British Telecom

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

HUAWEI 5G

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

Networking

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

'It's engaged.'

Undersized Load

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

'That's not the speed limit! It's the number of cameras in the area!'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

I'm sorry Charles is unavailable for polite comment.

"Oh sure, we cut labor costs by replacing humans with machines but now there's nobody to suck up to me!"

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

Telephone Box

"It's James Earl Jones from Verizon again—he wants to know if we still respect him as an actor."

Technology - Not High Tech, Not Low Tech, But Just the Right Tech.

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

Alexander Graham Bell sends the first text/sext message to Watson that says 'Mr. Waston, Come here. STOP. I want to see you. STOP. What are you wearing? STOP'