Telecommunications Worker Gifts

Internot - No broadband in your area.

"That $36 is for the wrong number you dialed. It belongs to a lawyer."

"It's no secret that rural broadband coverage is a scandal. Everyone knows that it's holding back development and it's a nightmare for locals."

Pulling the BT tower down.

Telephone Box

"I can offer you an upgrade to our dearer plan with absolutely no benefits to you whatsoever over a two year period!"

"Maybe we should've kept the landline, Dad!"

"I'm not complaining, but I just thought there would be more perks to Heaven than unlimited data on my phone."

Woman at switch board turns to see a robot come to take her place

Man in a phone booth using a mobile phone.

'Your ape call is important to us - please press 6 for angry natives, 5 for lions, or 4 for a general stampede!'

"Can you hear me now?"

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'I can't get through!'

'What do you mean you keep getting 'The number you want is busy' ?'

'I just realised, we're online too!'

"Your work has way slipped, hashtag, fired."

Early Brain Research Conducted At Bell Telephone Co.

"[Treehouse conference call]"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'You have to stop bringing all that work home. You're trying to send a fax from our toaster.'

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"