Telecommunications Staff Gifts

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

HUAWEI 5G

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'It's engaged.'

Networking

"We've induced the stem cells to grow into a fully functional, organically embedded communication device. We're calling it a 'cell phone'."

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"You get the feeling that it's trying to communicate with us."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Telephone Box

"It's James Earl Jones from Verizon again—he wants to know if we still respect him as an actor."

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

Alexander Graham Bell sends the first text/sext message to Watson that says 'Mr. Waston, Come here. STOP. I want to see you. STOP. What are you wearing? STOP'

South America and Europe by phone.

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

Hello Arthur "Just checking to see that the fax got through O.K."

Remorse code