Telecommunication Worker Gifts

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

We're sorry, all lines are currently busy. Please continue holding for the next available recorded message.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Data From a Truck

'You have to stop bringing all that work home. You're trying to send a fax from our toaster.'

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Networking

The first transatlantic communication.

"We've induced the stem cells to grow into a fully functional, organically embedded communication device. We're calling it a 'cell phone'."

'It's engaged.'

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."