New Job In Telecommunications Gifts

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'New Game'

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"Indeed - you're Mr. Gurkenman! After all the 200m meetings I remembered you much smaller!"

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Cloud Computing.

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Desert wifi

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'I'm grooming you for this position and giving you a makeover.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

'It's engaged.'

Networking

"We've induced the stem cells to grow into a fully functional, organically embedded communication device. We're calling it a 'cell phone'."

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"You get the feeling that it's trying to communicate with us."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.