Telecommunications Officer Gifts

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

This Message Has No Content

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"We've been cancelled."

Data From a Truck

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'It's getting harder to tell when the news stops and the spin begins.'

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Progressive Media Outlets and The Right.

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

The Calmocracy

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

'It's engaged.'

1876 - Alexander Graham Bell made the world's first telephone call.

Networking

The first transatlantic communication.