Technology Executive Gifts

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"Well you know what they say, 'here today gone tomorrow', or in the case of tech start ups 'here today, gone shortly after lunch.'"

"Purvision, you're fired! Hand in your cell phone, beeper, pager and laptop."

Deepseek

Spaghetti Eastern

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

VP for small Size and VP for Higher Price.

"What's the problem? Why are you failing?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Occu-Pie Mars

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks