Technology Executive Gifts

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk...he combines the worst of each of them."

"Well you know what they say, 'here today gone tomorrow', or in the case of tech start ups 'here today, gone shortly after lunch.'"

"Purvision, you're fired! Hand in your cell phone, beeper, pager and laptop."

Deepseek

Spaghetti Eastern

Masters of Sameness

But It's Already Being Censored

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

"Apparently someone here has been thinking about other things."

Nuclear Power.

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

"Today, tech stocks tumbled on news that Mark Zuckerberg's computer crashed."

VP for small Size and VP for Higher Price.

"What's the problem? Why are you failing?"

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Occu-Pie Mars

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Hollywood Sign Developers

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."