Teetotaler Humor Gifts

"I'm celebrating one year of abstinence from alcohol."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"This stool shall pass."

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Moses unblocking the toilet.

Sober Tooth Tiger

Lavatory Waterfall

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

'New Barbeque.'

New York Scatological Society

WC problem.

'Now, our master is always polite and leaves the seat up for us, not like our Mistress...'

Toilet humour

"Don't worry. Mum and Dad think I'm just talking to my invisible friend."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Pooper Bowl Sunday.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'You've got lot toe!'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

Potatoes.

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

A Taco Tuesday Tragedy

The Janopause

"So tell me about your last poop."

"You talkin' to me?"

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

Frog Flycatcher.

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

"That should attract every over 60s cruise ship, in the area."

Caveman creates wheel which he turns into a toilet seat.

"I was on a roll at first. Then, things began to unravel, and my life just went down the drain."