Teetotaler Tester Gifts

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Rust test in progress.

'New Barbeque.'

Product Testing Department

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

The Janopause

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"You talkin' to me?"

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

'Now I know why this Satnav was going out cheap.'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

'So how was work, Honey?'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Drink kills.

"You're the perfect man for our production test lab, sir!"

After his career as a wrestling pro, Hank 'Iron Claw' Hammersmith found a new job at the touchscreen test department.

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'No wonder these are bland...they're toys!'

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

'When do you guys plan to invent a crash test dummy?'

A woman runs a crash test dummy in a shopping cart.