Teetotaler Wonder Gifts

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"You talkin' to me?"

The Janopause

"You destination is around the next curve."

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!', 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

Drink kills.

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

I see you're drinking coffee. I'm also a teetotaler. I only force down these martinis for the roughage in the olives. ??

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

A Guilty Conscience.

Overdoing It.

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

Teetotaler introducing his son to the schoolmaster

'It was horrible Doctor!! One minute we were playing on the teeter totter and the next he was gone!!'

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

A Volunteer Review

'Non-alcohol beer? Aisle 6, keep sweeping dust till you hit 'em.'