Playful Teetotalers Gifts

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

Sober Tooth Tiger

'New Barbeque.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"You talkin' to me?"

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"I wonder, sir, if you expect to be using your complimentary cocktail."

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Drink kills.

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

'Wow! Your head weights 23 pounds just like your feet!'

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

"Extreme Marco Polo"

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

'No alcohol for me thanks: I see enough mirages as it is...'

That's a nasty outgoing toenail you've got there.'

A Guilty Conscience.

Have you been eating people again, Gertie?

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

'I'm a teetotaler.'

Overdoing It.

"Actually, I'm a practising teetotaller. I just haven't got the hang of it yet."

'It was horrible Doctor!! One minute we were playing on the teeter totter and the next he was gone!!'

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'