Teenager Son Gifts

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

'His dad was!'

'You know those chicken wings you love? Somebody had to pluck them.'

"My dad says at some point in your life, fashion isn't important anymore. You basically wear nylon slacks and guayaberas every day."

"No, you can't go to the rock concert! It's vital you don't damage your hearing!"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'