Teenaged Child Gifts

"We could abduct him - but I don't think we'd get a word in edgeways..."

'Teenagers!'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"It's called, 'Goth'."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'