Having A Teenage Child Gifts

Adolescence is a period of rapid change. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent will age about 20 years...

'Teenagers!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Spring Break.

'We've created a teenager!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"So this is what you do all day on your cell phone? Punching in letters...one by one...sending dirty messages to your friends?"

We're not picking you up from field hockey. Take the late bus. Ok then. I'll get home at 8:30, miss dinner and have no time to study. I'll fail my classes, never get a job and live the rest of my life with you. Not true! You have a bright future as an extortionist. Or soap opera star!

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

'Now don't complain Mum: You started it by giving me my first nose-ring...'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.