Having A Teenage Child Gifts

Adolescence is a period of rapid change. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent will age about 20 years...

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Spring Break.

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

'We've created a teenager!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"So this is what you do all day on your cell phone? Punching in letters...one by one...sending dirty messages to your friends?"

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

'Now don't complain Mum: You started it by giving me my first nose-ring...'

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

Curious George, Dad

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.